Henry Miller's Eleven Commandments of Writing

1. Work on one thing at a time until finished.

2. Start no more new books, add no more new material to [past book].

3. Don’t be nervous. Work calmly, joyously, recklessly on whatever is in hand.

4. Work according to Program and not according to mood. Stop at the appointed time!

5. When you can’t create you can work.

6. Cement a little every day, rather than add new fertilizers.

7. Keep human! See people, go places, drink if you feel like it.

8. Don’t be a draught-horse! Work with pleasure only.

9. Discard the Program when you feel like it—but go back to it next day. Concentrate. Narrow down. Exclude.

10. Forget the books you want to write. Think only of the book you are writing.

11. Write first and always. Painting, music, friends, cinema, all these come afterwards.

Mentoring and Eight Skills Everyone Should Have by the Age of 18

I watched Saturday night, as Frank sat mesmerized by the conversation taking place between him and a dear friend of ours. The friend was telling Frank about an experience he had in Nashville as a songwriter. He talked about his approach to his time in Nashville, what happened while he was there, and the good and bad of it. The truth is, that was several years ago and in that time both the methods of business communication and the business of music has drastically changed. However, Frank listened, didn't interrupt, and didn't feel compelled to interject—and thus, there was much he took away and learned from the conversation.

This time in the life of a high school senior is different than any other time in their life. The challenges they'll face, the experiences they'll get to have, the people they'll meet, and the feelings they'll have will be unique. I read a student board from Belmont in which students wrote what they wished they'd known as a freshman. Over and over I read posts from students saying they wished they'd known the importance of networking. 

Mentoring is equally important to this age group, because having a mentor in and of itself is a networking opportunity. I've had an opportunity to do some mentoring myself, and in both cases, I feel as though there is as least something the two kids learned from me. I've also watched another kid, who had an opportunity to talk to someone who has had a long and successful career in that kid's field of study, completely discount the potential mentor. What a shame, because that particular situation could have been so beneficial to this kid.

I've suggested to Frank that there are loads of people in his life that he can learn something from. I've encouraged him to reach out, particularly to people who have watched him grow up, and who have influenced his decision to study music production. It isn't always easy. Kids are shy, or they "feel stupid", but the value in what they could learn, or who they could meet, is worth overcoming the discomfort.

A daughter of a very dear friend of mine wants to be a writer. I suggested to my friend that her daughter come and talk to me. It was near the end of our California trip, so my time was tight. I couldn't meet her, I really needed her to come to me, because I only had about an hour to spend with her. The girl contacted me, drove down to Newport, found a place to park (not always easy), and spent an hour basically listening. She asked a couple questions, and at the end I asked if our visit had been worthwhile. She rattled off a list of what she'd wanted to ask me, and as it turned out she got all the information she desired, plus some. It took guts on her part. I've known her all her life, but that doesn't mean she remembers ME. I was proud of her, and I see her as a serious young lady who I honestly believe will be a published author some day.

I'm going to reference an article I read here, because as Beckett matures, I want to be able to pull up this post and remind myself what I need to work on as his parent. It's taken from the book, How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success. 

1. An 18-year-old must be able to talk to strangersFaculty, deans, advisers, landlords, store clerks, human resource managers, coworkers, bank tellers, health care providers, bus drivers, mechanics—in the real world. 

The crutch: We teach kids not to talk to strangers instead of teaching the more nuanced skill of how to discern the few bad strangers from the mostly good ones. Thus, kids end up not knowing how to approach strangers—respectfully and with eye contact—for the help, guidance, and direction they will need out in the world. (See above: mentoring!)

2. An 18-year-old must be able to find his way aroundA campus, the town in which her summer internship is located, or the city where he is working or studying abroad. 

The crutch: We drive or accompany our children everywhere, even when a bus, their bicycle, or their own feet could get them there; thus, kids don't know the route for getting from here to there, how to cope with transportation options and snafus, when and how to fill the car with gas, or how to make and execute transportation plans. 

3. An 18-year-old must be able to manage his assignments, workload, and deadlines 

The crutch: We remind kids when their homework is due and when to do it — sometimes helping them do it, sometimes doing it for them; thus, kids don't know how to prioritize tasks, manage workload, or meet deadlines, without regular reminders. 

4. An 18-year-old must be able to contribute to the running of a household 

The crutch: We don't ask them to help much around the house because the checklisted childhood leaves little time in the day for anything aside from academic and extracurricular work; thus, kids don't know how to look after their own needs, respect the needs of others, or do their fair share for the good of the whole. 

5. An 18-year-old must be able to handle interpersonal problems 

The crutch: We step in to solve misunderstandings and soothe hurt feelings for them; thus, kids don't know how to cope with and resolve conflicts without our intervention. 

6. An 18-year-old must be able to cope with ups and downsCourses and workloads, college- level work, competition, tough teachers, bosses, and others. 

The crutch: We step in when things get hard, finish the task, extend the deadline, and talk to the adults; thus, kids don't know that in the normal course of life things won't always go their way, and that they'll be okay regardless. 

7. An 18-year-old must be able to earn and manage money 

The crutch: They don't hold part-time jobs; they receive money from us for what ever they want or need; thus, kids don't develop a sense of responsibility for completing job tasks, accountability to a boss who doesn't inherently love them, or an appreciation for the cost of things and how to manage money. 

8. An 18-year-old must be able to take risks 

The crutch: We've laid out their entire path for them and have avoided all pitfalls or prevented all stumbles for them; thus, kids don't develop the wise understanding that success comes only after trying and failing and trying again (a.k.a. "grit") or the thick skin (a.k.a. "resilience") that comes from coping when things have gone wrong. 

Remember: our kids must be able to do all of these things without resorting to calling a parent on the phone. If they're calling us to ask how, they do not have the life skill.