#1
Kings of Leon
Mechanical Bull
This album should be on everyone’s favorite albums of 2013 list. It should also be near or at the top of the list. It is . . . simply put . . . a great album. I love KOL and would be happy to participate in a discussion about which of their albums is the best. No matter, this is their best of 2013.
My first favorite song from this album was Wait for Me. Then I fell in love with Last Mile Home. Supersoaker was probably next, followed by Comeback Story. Temple, Family Tree . . . and Beautiful War. Every single song inspires me. It is just so damn good.
I look with yearning every time they announce new tour dates, hoping they’ll get close to Colorado, because at this point, I’d drive just about anywhere to see them live. However, Kings of Leon at Red Rocks? I’ll get in line the night before to make sure I’m in the front row.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Top Ten Albums of 2013 - #2 The Airborne Toxic Event - Such Hot Blood
#2
The Airborne Toxic Event
Such Hot Blood
The Airborne Toxic Event is my favorite band. For someone who owns as much music as I do, to even be able to say one particular band is my favorite is a bold statement. But they are. And I haven’t even seen them live. Yet.
As with every other recording I’ve ever heard of theirs, this album is gorgeous, rich—musical genius. I read somewhere that their music is poetry you can dance to. I would agree.
I love to write to their music. Somewhere Around Midnight, off their 2007 self-titled album, is the stuff of a great heart-wrenchingly painful scene in a book. I know, I listened to it a hundred times as I wrote the breakup scene between Scott and Winnie in Hasten. I still cry every time I read it.
Timeless, The Secret, The Storm, Safe . . . I’ve listened to each a hundred times . . . whenever I’ve wanted to get my head into another heart-wrenchingly painful scene in one of my books. Their music never fails me.
Every song gives me the chills. Every single song. I’ve been known to say (ad nauseum) that I live my life by soundtrack. There isn’t a place or time that TATE’s music doesn’t fit. It isn’t all h-w-p, it’s just all soul-baring.
If I had unlimited amounts of money to spend on seeing one particular concert, I would fly to wherever their next show is, that’s how badly I want to see them live.
It’s next to impossible to say which song of theirs is my favorite, but All I Ever Wanted, off 2011’s album All At Once, might be it. Deserted island, one album . . . it would be hard to pick which of TATE’s I’d pick, but no question . . . it would be one of theirs.
The Airborne Toxic Event
Such Hot Blood
The Airborne Toxic Event is my favorite band. For someone who owns as much music as I do, to even be able to say one particular band is my favorite is a bold statement. But they are. And I haven’t even seen them live. Yet.
As with every other recording I’ve ever heard of theirs, this album is gorgeous, rich—musical genius. I read somewhere that their music is poetry you can dance to. I would agree.
I love to write to their music. Somewhere Around Midnight, off their 2007 self-titled album, is the stuff of a great heart-wrenchingly painful scene in a book. I know, I listened to it a hundred times as I wrote the breakup scene between Scott and Winnie in Hasten. I still cry every time I read it.
Timeless, The Secret, The Storm, Safe . . . I’ve listened to each a hundred times . . . whenever I’ve wanted to get my head into another heart-wrenchingly painful scene in one of my books. Their music never fails me.
Every song gives me the chills. Every single song. I’ve been known to say (ad nauseum) that I live my life by soundtrack. There isn’t a place or time that TATE’s music doesn’t fit. It isn’t all h-w-p, it’s just all soul-baring.
If I had unlimited amounts of money to spend on seeing one particular concert, I would fly to wherever their next show is, that’s how badly I want to see them live.
It’s next to impossible to say which song of theirs is my favorite, but All I Ever Wanted, off 2011’s album All At Once, might be it. Deserted island, one album . . . it would be hard to pick which of TATE’s I’d pick, but no question . . . it would be one of theirs.
Top Ten Albums of 2013 - #3 ZZ Ward - Til the Casket Drops
#3
ZZ Ward
Til the Casket Drops
Nineteen days ago, I didn’t know who ZZ Ward was. Then, I saw her open for the Fray at Summit Music Hall. Her music is now on every playlist I’m listening to, whether it’s the ski playlist, the workout playlist, or the we need to take the Christmas decorations down and need a lot of energy to do it with playlist. She gets us moving.
She is also a joy to see perform live. She’s beautiful, for one. And sweet and funny and charming. She makes you want to see her be wildly successful. I’ve seen reviews where she’s compared to Adele and Amy Winehouse, and while I agree with the comparison, she also has a sound so uniquely hers.
Her music is full of the blues, and is so addictive. It makes you want to dance, or run, or ski, or put decorations away. It makes you want to move, and sing along.
Put the Gun Down, Last Love Song, Save My Life, Charlie Ain’t Home, 365 Days, Move Like U Stole It, Home . . . have I named every song on the album yet? If not, they deserve to be listed. Every single song, again, is so good.
And again, this is someone I expect to see and hear a lot more from. She is an amazingly talented singer and songwriter.
ZZ Ward
Til the Casket Drops
Nineteen days ago, I didn’t know who ZZ Ward was. Then, I saw her open for the Fray at Summit Music Hall. Her music is now on every playlist I’m listening to, whether it’s the ski playlist, the workout playlist, or the we need to take the Christmas decorations down and need a lot of energy to do it with playlist. She gets us moving.
She is also a joy to see perform live. She’s beautiful, for one. And sweet and funny and charming. She makes you want to see her be wildly successful. I’ve seen reviews where she’s compared to Adele and Amy Winehouse, and while I agree with the comparison, she also has a sound so uniquely hers.
Her music is full of the blues, and is so addictive. It makes you want to dance, or run, or ski, or put decorations away. It makes you want to move, and sing along.
Put the Gun Down, Last Love Song, Save My Life, Charlie Ain’t Home, 365 Days, Move Like U Stole It, Home . . . have I named every song on the album yet? If not, they deserve to be listed. Every single song, again, is so good.
And again, this is someone I expect to see and hear a lot more from. She is an amazingly talented singer and songwriter.
Top Ten Albums of 2013 - #4 The Civil Wars - The Civil Wars
#4
The Civil Wars
Self-Titled
As a writer, this is a duo I go to again and again. Their music inspires me to want to write better, simpler, more from the heart. It’s also great music to write to. Their melodies are haunting, their passion is so evident, in every single song.
The One That Got Away, Dust to Dust, Sacred Heart . . . all sublime. I love Barton Hollow too, their 2011 release. Poison and Wine and Dance Me to the End of Love (a Leonard Cohen song), are my two favorites.
My understanding is that these two have parted ways. It’s a shame, because their voices together are enchanting. However, as with others artists that part ways, I look forward to seeing, and hearing, what they do on their own. Their combined and individual talent is the stuff great music is made from.
The Civil Wars
Self-Titled
As a writer, this is a duo I go to again and again. Their music inspires me to want to write better, simpler, more from the heart. It’s also great music to write to. Their melodies are haunting, their passion is so evident, in every single song.
The One That Got Away, Dust to Dust, Sacred Heart . . . all sublime. I love Barton Hollow too, their 2011 release. Poison and Wine and Dance Me to the End of Love (a Leonard Cohen song), are my two favorites.
My understanding is that these two have parted ways. It’s a shame, because their voices together are enchanting. However, as with others artists that part ways, I look forward to seeing, and hearing, what they do on their own. Their combined and individual talent is the stuff great music is made from.
Top Ten Albums of 2013 - #5 Chase Rice - Ready, Set, Roll
#5
Chase Rice
Ready, Set, Roll
I hadn’t heard of Chase Rice when I wrote And Then You Fall, if I had, a couple things might have happened. I might not have named the band in the book CB Rice, I might not have named the main character Ben Rice, or maybe instead of using GB Leighton’s lyrics, I would’ve used Chase Rice’s.
This is another musician I discovered, but don’t remember where or how. I saw him live a couple of weeks ago, at the Grizzly Rose. Sadly they have a strict 18 and over policy, so Frank couldn’t go with me, but happily, I got to hang with my dear friend Sherri for a girls’ night. Seeing Chase Rice is girls’ night worthy, of that I can assure you.
I had a VIP pass for this concert so I got to meet Chase. He was gracious and gentlemanly, like a typical country boy. He isn’t unpleasant to look at either. I gave him a copy of the book, and warned him that it was steamy.
He asked, "Fifty Shades steamy?"
"No," I answered. "Cowboy steamy."
He nodded his head as though he understood.
This is a fun EP. Ready, Set Roll, Country in Ya (swoon), How She Rolls, Look at My Truck . . . all made my skiing playlist. The requirement to make that playlist is the song makes me happy as I fly down the hill.
Chase was one of the writers of Florida Georgia Line’s Cruise. He’s another one I expect to see a lot more of in the next few years. He’s also another one I follow on Twitter, and he never fails to make me smile.
Chase Rice
Ready, Set, Roll
I hadn’t heard of Chase Rice when I wrote And Then You Fall, if I had, a couple things might have happened. I might not have named the band in the book CB Rice, I might not have named the main character Ben Rice, or maybe instead of using GB Leighton’s lyrics, I would’ve used Chase Rice’s.
This is another musician I discovered, but don’t remember where or how. I saw him live a couple of weeks ago, at the Grizzly Rose. Sadly they have a strict 18 and over policy, so Frank couldn’t go with me, but happily, I got to hang with my dear friend Sherri for a girls’ night. Seeing Chase Rice is girls’ night worthy, of that I can assure you.
I had a VIP pass for this concert so I got to meet Chase. He was gracious and gentlemanly, like a typical country boy. He isn’t unpleasant to look at either. I gave him a copy of the book, and warned him that it was steamy.
He asked, "Fifty Shades steamy?"
"No," I answered. "Cowboy steamy."
He nodded his head as though he understood.
This is a fun EP. Ready, Set Roll, Country in Ya (swoon), How She Rolls, Look at My Truck . . . all made my skiing playlist. The requirement to make that playlist is the song makes me happy as I fly down the hill.
Chase was one of the writers of Florida Georgia Line’s Cruise. He’s another one I expect to see a lot more of in the next few years. He’s also another one I follow on Twitter, and he never fails to make me smile.
Top Ten Albums of 2013 - #6 The Mowgli's - Waiting for the Dawn
#6
The Mowgli’s
Waiting for the Dawn
On their twitter page bio it says, Grammatically incorrect since 2009. As a writer, this made me love them even more.
This is another band we saw live this year, and wow, they were amazing. We saw them at the Gothic, one of our favorite venues. This is the highest energy band I’ve ever seen. We were standing at the front of the stage and watching them, if their music wasn’t already making me smile, they certainly would have.
This is a band of happy, incredibly positive, full of love people. Listening to them makes me feel as though I’m hanging out at 17th Street in Newport Beach, on a perfect summer day.
San Francisco, Emily, Time, Leave It Up to Me . . . I love them all. BUT, Say It Just Say It is the song I listen to over and over again.
This another band I expect to hear more and more from. I would see them live again and again. At the end of their show, Josh gave me their setlist. It’s on Frankie’s wall of music along with signed posters, playlists from other bands, tickets, signed t-shirts . . . he sits and looks at it when he’s playing guitar and writing songs. I think maybe that particular setlist gives off the most positive energy.
The Mowgli’s
Waiting for the Dawn
On their twitter page bio it says, Grammatically incorrect since 2009. As a writer, this made me love them even more.
This is another band we saw live this year, and wow, they were amazing. We saw them at the Gothic, one of our favorite venues. This is the highest energy band I’ve ever seen. We were standing at the front of the stage and watching them, if their music wasn’t already making me smile, they certainly would have.
This is a band of happy, incredibly positive, full of love people. Listening to them makes me feel as though I’m hanging out at 17th Street in Newport Beach, on a perfect summer day.
San Francisco, Emily, Time, Leave It Up to Me . . . I love them all. BUT, Say It Just Say It is the song I listen to over and over again.
This another band I expect to hear more and more from. I would see them live again and again. At the end of their show, Josh gave me their setlist. It’s on Frankie’s wall of music along with signed posters, playlists from other bands, tickets, signed t-shirts . . . he sits and looks at it when he’s playing guitar and writing songs. I think maybe that particular setlist gives off the most positive energy.
Top Ten Albums of 2013 - #7 Mayday Parade - Monsters in the Closet
#7
Mayday Parade
Monsters in the Closet
Frank and I were in the car one day and he put on a song he wanted me to listen to. Inwardly I cringed a little . . . he likes headbanger music a little more than I do. Anyway, the song he played was Terrible Things by Mayday Parade. When it ended, I asked him to play it again. By the end of the second time through, I was in tears. If you haven’t heard the song, I challenge you to listen to it and not be moved emotionally, if not to tears.
We had tickets to see Mayday Parade, and it wasn’t a show I had previously been looking forward to. I envisioned dropping Frank and his friend at the concert and sitting and reading in Tattered Covers a couple blocks away. After listening to Terrible Things, I opened my mind up a little bit and started listening to more.
Two things: it was one of the best concerts we saw this year, and Mayday Parade is now one of my favorite bands. Monsters in the Closet is an exceptional album. My favorite songs are 12 through 15, Angels, Girls, and Hold Onto Me. Admittedly, I like more of the songs from their 2007 album A Lesson in Romantics, probably because I know them all by heart. Jamie All Over, Black Cat, Miserable at Best, and Jersey—all great.
I highly recommend seeing these guys live. They leave it all on stage. I danced more at this show than any other this year, I sang along and honestly, had the best time ever. It might not be my number one best concert of 2013, but it’s way up there.
Mayday Parade
Monsters in the Closet
Frank and I were in the car one day and he put on a song he wanted me to listen to. Inwardly I cringed a little . . . he likes headbanger music a little more than I do. Anyway, the song he played was Terrible Things by Mayday Parade. When it ended, I asked him to play it again. By the end of the second time through, I was in tears. If you haven’t heard the song, I challenge you to listen to it and not be moved emotionally, if not to tears.
We had tickets to see Mayday Parade, and it wasn’t a show I had previously been looking forward to. I envisioned dropping Frank and his friend at the concert and sitting and reading in Tattered Covers a couple blocks away. After listening to Terrible Things, I opened my mind up a little bit and started listening to more.
Two things: it was one of the best concerts we saw this year, and Mayday Parade is now one of my favorite bands. Monsters in the Closet is an exceptional album. My favorite songs are 12 through 15, Angels, Girls, and Hold Onto Me. Admittedly, I like more of the songs from their 2007 album A Lesson in Romantics, probably because I know them all by heart. Jamie All Over, Black Cat, Miserable at Best, and Jersey—all great.
I highly recommend seeing these guys live. They leave it all on stage. I danced more at this show than any other this year, I sang along and honestly, had the best time ever. It might not be my number one best concert of 2013, but it’s way up there.
Top Ten Albums of 2013 - #8 GB Leighton - Get Up
#8
GB Leighton
Get Up
I have to be honest, I have a sentimental reason for putting this album in my top ten of 2013, but it is also deserving of being here.
When I sat down and started writing And Then You Fall, it had a different title. It was called Don't Let Go, and in it, I used lyrics written by GB Leighton, from the song Don't Let Go off their 2007 album, Shake Them Ghosts.
The story is about a woman who meets a musician, they fall in love, you can probably figure out the rest . . . anyway, the main male character in the book isn’t based on Brian, the man behind the band, but . . . in the end I did use other lyrics of his throughout the book, even though the title of the book changed. He graciously gave his permission for me to use them, and I will forever appreciate it.
About the same time the book was released, GB Leighton released a new CD called Get Up. A couple of the songs on it I had heard before, on YouTube, but like the other albums I’ve included in my top ten of 2013, all the songs on it are good.
My favorite songs from this recording are Go Ahead and Break Her Heart and Something You Would Die For. If you asked me tomorrow, it might be Get Up or Your Sweet Love. My favorites change daily, and again, they're all good.
Sentimentality aside, this is a band that deserves more recognition than it gets. If you’re from Minnesota, you probably know them well. They’re really good, but haven’t necessarily broken through on the national scene. I’ll be the first in line though, if they ever play a venue in Colorado.
GB Leighton
Get Up
I have to be honest, I have a sentimental reason for putting this album in my top ten of 2013, but it is also deserving of being here.
When I sat down and started writing And Then You Fall, it had a different title. It was called Don't Let Go, and in it, I used lyrics written by GB Leighton, from the song Don't Let Go off their 2007 album, Shake Them Ghosts.
The story is about a woman who meets a musician, they fall in love, you can probably figure out the rest . . . anyway, the main male character in the book isn’t based on Brian, the man behind the band, but . . . in the end I did use other lyrics of his throughout the book, even though the title of the book changed. He graciously gave his permission for me to use them, and I will forever appreciate it.
About the same time the book was released, GB Leighton released a new CD called Get Up. A couple of the songs on it I had heard before, on YouTube, but like the other albums I’ve included in my top ten of 2013, all the songs on it are good.
My favorite songs from this recording are Go Ahead and Break Her Heart and Something You Would Die For. If you asked me tomorrow, it might be Get Up or Your Sweet Love. My favorites change daily, and again, they're all good.
Sentimentality aside, this is a band that deserves more recognition than it gets. If you’re from Minnesota, you probably know them well. They’re really good, but haven’t necessarily broken through on the national scene. I’ll be the first in line though, if they ever play a venue in Colorado.
Top Ten Albums of 2013 - #9 Tom Odell - Long Way Down
#9
Tom Odell
Long Way Down
I have a habit of finding new music, new bands, and not having any recollection whatsoever of how I found them. Tom Odell fits this category. This kid is genius. His music, his lyrics are profound. He’s twenty-two. Unbelievable.
Another Love . . . one of those songs I could listen to again and again and again. I love everything about it, but in particular . . . right round the 1:56 mark . . . brilliant. Gives me the chills every single time.
Again, every song, or at least every original song on this album, is brilliant. I love his voice, it is very unique . . . and I’m always a sucker for piano. Grow Old With Me and Storms, two more favorites.
I look forward to hearing more of his music, and perhaps, years from now, when he’s won grammy after grammy, reflecting back on this post, when he was still, to a certain extent, unknown.
Tom Odell
Long Way Down
I have a habit of finding new music, new bands, and not having any recollection whatsoever of how I found them. Tom Odell fits this category. This kid is genius. His music, his lyrics are profound. He’s twenty-two. Unbelievable.
Another Love . . . one of those songs I could listen to again and again and again. I love everything about it, but in particular . . . right round the 1:56 mark . . . brilliant. Gives me the chills every single time.
Again, every song, or at least every original song on this album, is brilliant. I love his voice, it is very unique . . . and I’m always a sucker for piano. Grow Old With Me and Storms, two more favorites.
I look forward to hearing more of his music, and perhaps, years from now, when he’s won grammy after grammy, reflecting back on this post, when he was still, to a certain extent, unknown.
Top Ten Albums of 2013 - #10 Imagine Dragons - Night Visions
I’m doing my own music countdown this year . . . my top ten albums of 2013.
#10
Imagine Dragons
Night Visions
Watching the meteoric rise of Imagine Dragons in 2013, makes the album worthy of mention in this year’s countdown even though it was released in 2012. It's Time ended up on one of my playlists near the end of 2012, and I soon found myself listening to the whole album. Not something I do very often.
I got my fourteen-year-old son, Frank, tickets to see them, at the Ogden or the Gothic, or some other small venue in Denver, for Christmas last year. It ended up that the concert was while we were in Florida for spring break, so I sold the tickets. I think that particular show sold out in minutes. I was crestfallen that we would be missing it, honestly. My dear friend Irene saw them in LA and videoed almost every song for me, which was very sweet.
Days later, we were thrilled when ID announced new tour dates, including Red Rocks in Denver. I got tickets the minute they went on sale, and minutes later, it was sold out.
Every song on the album is good, and again . . . it isn’t something I say very often. Radioactive, probably their most popular song, Amsterdam, Demons, Bleeding Out . . . I could go on and on. It’s so good, it’ll be one of my favorite albums next year and the year after that too. Unbelievable debut album.
What I’ll remember about seeing them live was their honest, heartfelt appreciation for the fans and their success. Every so often Dan Reynolds would look out at the crowd and shake his head. He’d say thank you, for the umpteenth time, and his voice would crack when he did. He thanked the people who let them sleep on their couches during previous tours . . . to think that in March they were playing a small venue and by the second week of May, of the same year, they were sold out at Red Rocks. Amazing.
Frank and I judge a good concert by whether or not we danced and sang the entire time. And whether either of us still have a voice on the way to the car . . . at the ID concert we danced, we sang and neither of us could talk. It’s in our top ten of best concerts of 2013 too. We aren’t seeing them at Pepsi Center this coming spring. It’s too hard for a band to top a Red Rocks show. We’d rather hang onto that memory. However, when they come back to RR, we’ll be there, as close to the front row as we can get.
It’s easy to like their music, but it’s easier to like them as people. I’ve followed them on Twitter all year, reading about their experiences, seeing photos from the Night Visions tour. Even when they posted about the last shows of the tour, their incredulousness over their success, their humility, and their appreciation came through.
#10
Imagine Dragons
Night Visions
Watching the meteoric rise of Imagine Dragons in 2013, makes the album worthy of mention in this year’s countdown even though it was released in 2012. It's Time ended up on one of my playlists near the end of 2012, and I soon found myself listening to the whole album. Not something I do very often.
I got my fourteen-year-old son, Frank, tickets to see them, at the Ogden or the Gothic, or some other small venue in Denver, for Christmas last year. It ended up that the concert was while we were in Florida for spring break, so I sold the tickets. I think that particular show sold out in minutes. I was crestfallen that we would be missing it, honestly. My dear friend Irene saw them in LA and videoed almost every song for me, which was very sweet.
Days later, we were thrilled when ID announced new tour dates, including Red Rocks in Denver. I got tickets the minute they went on sale, and minutes later, it was sold out.
Every song on the album is good, and again . . . it isn’t something I say very often. Radioactive, probably their most popular song, Amsterdam, Demons, Bleeding Out . . . I could go on and on. It’s so good, it’ll be one of my favorite albums next year and the year after that too. Unbelievable debut album.
What I’ll remember about seeing them live was their honest, heartfelt appreciation for the fans and their success. Every so often Dan Reynolds would look out at the crowd and shake his head. He’d say thank you, for the umpteenth time, and his voice would crack when he did. He thanked the people who let them sleep on their couches during previous tours . . . to think that in March they were playing a small venue and by the second week of May, of the same year, they were sold out at Red Rocks. Amazing.
Frank and I judge a good concert by whether or not we danced and sang the entire time. And whether either of us still have a voice on the way to the car . . . at the ID concert we danced, we sang and neither of us could talk. It’s in our top ten of best concerts of 2013 too. We aren’t seeing them at Pepsi Center this coming spring. It’s too hard for a band to top a Red Rocks show. We’d rather hang onto that memory. However, when they come back to RR, we’ll be there, as close to the front row as we can get.
It’s easy to like their music, but it’s easier to like them as people. I’ve followed them on Twitter all year, reading about their experiences, seeing photos from the Night Visions tour. Even when they posted about the last shows of the tour, their incredulousness over their success, their humility, and their appreciation came through.
Sunday, December 29, 2013
I Do Not Know You, Yet . . .
I do not know you, yet when I see something nice has happened in your life, I am happy for you.
I do not know you, yet when I read of your accomplishments, I am proud of you.
I do not know you, yet when I witness your sadness, it brings my own tears.
I do not know you, yet when I discover your joy, it fills my heart.
I do not know you, yet when I look at photos of you, I feel as though we've met, another time, another place.
I do not know you, yet if I heard someone disparaging you, I would defend you.
I do not know you, yet there are times I believe I know what you're thinking, or feeling, as impossible as that may seem.
I do not know you, yet I know that your concern is in not wanting to let people down.
I do not know you, yet I know you aren't always forthcoming when you believe you will be letting me down.
I do not know you, yet I believe that above all else, you have a selfless heart.
I do not know you, yet your smile can bring the same to me, even across a thousand miles.
I do not know you, and likely never will, yet I will hold a special place in my heart for you for the rest of my days.
Saturday, December 28, 2013
A Daunting Task
Even when I was Frank’s age, or younger, I was fascinated by our family history. I would sneak downstairs early in the morning, crawl in bed with my grandmother, and ask her to tell me the story of one of my relatives. She told the stories over and over again, so to this day, I remember many of them. It seems they are permanently imprinted in my memory.
Last year I researched and finished as much as I could on the Slade/Schieferstein family history. I scanned the photos I have, and put them all in a photo album. Today I plan to work on the Allen/Marks photo albums and perhaps even get a Millard album done. That one is easy, I have very few photos from my father’s side of the family.
It is a big job, and a tedious one. I suppose that is why so many people begin family history projects and why so few ever finish them.
Doug’s father’s side of the family is particularly perplexing. His great-grandfather was orphaned. Doug was determined to get to the bottom of who his great-great-grandparents were last summer; we came up with a couple of theories, but nothing conclusive.
My grandmother's mother's family was traced back to the mid-1500s by a man named Henry Allen, who was a writer. I believe I have her father’s family history back to the 1700s.
My plan is to put the history, as much as I know of it, in the pages at the beginning of the each photo album. That way, even though they have a short attention span for it now, someday Frank and Beck will have it all at their fingertips if they are interested in learning more about their ancestors.
This project has appeared on my to-do list for too many years now. I would like to make some headway before we see the end of 2014. It’s one of those I wish it was done but I don’t have the patience to finish it kind of tasks. Or, in a word, daunting.
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Judging Books
When we were growing up, how often did we hear, "Don’t judge a book by its cover"? Well, interestingly enough, my book has illustrated that concept to me more than any other life lesson. But not in the way anyone would expect.
My books, even the series with attempted murder and fugitives, are love stories. The Crested Butte (aka cowboy) series is especially so. And the thing I’ve learned is that they don’t only appeal to women. In fact, some of the manlier men I know have either read them, or told me they planned to. Initially I warned them about their steaminess, and then I stopped. Because basically they could look at the cover image and surmise it for themselves. My assumptions about who would like, and not like, my books was way off-base and a little sexist.
Back to what I’ve learned . . . I’ve learned that the people I grew up thinking were one kind of person, are not the way I thought of them at all. In fact, they are quite the opposite, in a good way.
Frank was telling me recently how he thought someone on the swim team was mean. I watched this particular kid at the last meet, and what I saw was a boy who scowled a lot, but when he was with his dad, he appeared warm and loving, affectionate even. My guess is, this boy is either shy, or insecure, or both. I suggested Frank consider this when talking with this boy, and maybe be more open to the possibility that he isn’t mean at all.
I wish I could tell one particular person that I’m sorry I misjudged him all these years, but then I’d have to tell him that I misjudged him all these years. It might make me feel better to say so, but it would likely only hurt his feelings. So instead, I will keep in mind that it is never a good idea to judge any book by its cover, and remember to have a more open mind from now on.
My books, even the series with attempted murder and fugitives, are love stories. The Crested Butte (aka cowboy) series is especially so. And the thing I’ve learned is that they don’t only appeal to women. In fact, some of the manlier men I know have either read them, or told me they planned to. Initially I warned them about their steaminess, and then I stopped. Because basically they could look at the cover image and surmise it for themselves. My assumptions about who would like, and not like, my books was way off-base and a little sexist.
Back to what I’ve learned . . . I’ve learned that the people I grew up thinking were one kind of person, are not the way I thought of them at all. In fact, they are quite the opposite, in a good way.
Frank was telling me recently how he thought someone on the swim team was mean. I watched this particular kid at the last meet, and what I saw was a boy who scowled a lot, but when he was with his dad, he appeared warm and loving, affectionate even. My guess is, this boy is either shy, or insecure, or both. I suggested Frank consider this when talking with this boy, and maybe be more open to the possibility that he isn’t mean at all.
I wish I could tell one particular person that I’m sorry I misjudged him all these years, but then I’d have to tell him that I misjudged him all these years. It might make me feel better to say so, but it would likely only hurt his feelings. So instead, I will keep in mind that it is never a good idea to judge any book by its cover, and remember to have a more open mind from now on.
Monday, December 23, 2013
Amazing.
It is natural for us to reflect about the year gone by at the end of the year. Given my birthday is also at the end of the year, I become especially reflective.
Today I heard from so many people . . . whether it was on Facebook or Twitter, or emails or phone calls or a surprise visit. I was touched beyond words. It is especially difficult at this time of the year, two days before Christmas, to take time to remember my birthday, and I appreciate it so much.
A few people I talked to today are not on social media, at all. It is hard to remember that not everyone is, and if they aren’t, it is unlikely they have any idea what has gone on in my life in the last year. And vice versa. Those are the conversations in which I am amazed by how quickly the year has gone, and how much has happened in the last twelve months.
This year I published two books. Amazing. One friend I talked to tonight asked, "How did you get started? I mean, how did you come up with the characters? And the story?"
And I told her. It ended up being a synopsis of the first ten pages of And Then You Fall. As I was telling her, so much came flooding back to me. In the course of writing that book, and others, I have had the opportunity to connect with truly amazing people. Some of them I am lucky enough to count as friends. Some have influenced characters, to the point that a particular character is based on them. Some introduce me to people who become character inspiration. Some have written something I read, sometimes as simple as a Twitter post, and it inspired either a story in and of itself, or a plot twist. And then, there are those who supply the character inspiration along with what the story should be about. It’s rarely recognizable as what they initially may have suggested to me, but there is still the spark of an idea which leads to something . . . more.
I was filled with happiness as I recollected to her, my oldest and dearest friend (we met in fourth grade and have been best friends ever since), what motivated me to write this series of books. It was joy I felt as I told her how the story came together. I didn't tell her as much about the second book, And Then You Dance. It is the type of book that even telling someone what the book is about requires a spoiler alert.
I have been gifted this year with the addition of so many new friends. That has been my greatest blessing. In talking with another friend, she laughed and said she figured that meant I was now friends with the only other five people living in town that I hadn't been friends with before.
But it hasn't just been here in town, I’ve met authors and interviewers and friends of friends . . . connected with would probably be a better way of putting it, but the bottom line is I've been blessed this year. It has been a milestone kind of year for me. One in which the goals I set for myself have been far exceeded. I feel as though I was more a vessel for it than I was the creator of any of it.
As I look back, there is little I would change about the last year. It has been one of the best of my life. As I often say, but it could never be often enough, I love my life.
Sunday, December 22, 2013
See?
Doug told me this morning that we’re going to the Broadmoor this afternoon to continue my birthday celebration. I went, for the first time, earlier in December, with the ladies from our neighborhood. It was such a treat. We didn’t have much time to walk around and explore, so I mentioned to Doug that I’d like to try to go back before the end of the year.
Beckett is at a birthday party, so it will be a date with my two of my three favorite men. I’m so excited.
Beckett is at a birthday party, so it will be a date with my two of my three favorite men. I’m so excited.
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Birthday Weekend
My birthday is on Monday. Christmas Eve-Eve. Which I can tell you, sucks. It’s a terrible time to have a birthday. Everyone is busy, or traveling. It’s next to impossible to plan anything. Last year, my fiftieth, was great. Doug had a party across the road at the brewery, and a surprising number of friends were in town for it.
Then, we went to California and I spent ten days catching up with old friends. I got together without almost everyone I wanted to. We simply ran out of time to see everyone. But what was really great was with each, I spent time one-on-one with them . . . really catching up. We talked, we reconnected, we got to tell each other how much we both mattered. Precious, priceless, magic memories.
This year is quieter. We don’t have any big plans, and that’s okay with me. Yesterday we skied at Copper Mountain, a first for me. Frank is the only one in our family who skied there before. It’s now a favorite. We all loved it. There was a point yesterday that the four of us were weaving back and forth on the same hill. All of us had great big smiles on our faces, and I think I even heard hooting and hollaring. I know I was doing it, and I don’t think I was the only one.
The powder had something to do with it, it was spectacular. Snow continued to fall all day, great big flakes, light as could be, with no wind. It was peaceful, and serene, and wonderful to ski in. Many of the trails we were on hadn't been skied on since the snow fell. Getting to be the first to swoosh through all that new snow was indescribable. And then, on the groomed trails, it’s always a treat to be the first to mess up those perfect ribs of corduroy.
Copper Mountain was very quiet yesterday, so each time we skied down the hill, we were able to get back on the lift immediately. I lost track of the number of runs we made even before lunchtime.
Beck tired out early, so he and I skied the smaller hills while Frank and Doug went to the top of the mountain. By the end of the day, we all had rosy cheeks, sore muscles and joy in our hearts. We took lots of photos too, which we don't always remember to do.
Doug is pretty good at making plans, so my guess is, he has more in store, we’ll see, but if that is all we do this weekend, I’ll be happy. The memories are perfect.
Then, we went to California and I spent ten days catching up with old friends. I got together without almost everyone I wanted to. We simply ran out of time to see everyone. But what was really great was with each, I spent time one-on-one with them . . . really catching up. We talked, we reconnected, we got to tell each other how much we both mattered. Precious, priceless, magic memories.
This year is quieter. We don’t have any big plans, and that’s okay with me. Yesterday we skied at Copper Mountain, a first for me. Frank is the only one in our family who skied there before. It’s now a favorite. We all loved it. There was a point yesterday that the four of us were weaving back and forth on the same hill. All of us had great big smiles on our faces, and I think I even heard hooting and hollaring. I know I was doing it, and I don’t think I was the only one.
The powder had something to do with it, it was spectacular. Snow continued to fall all day, great big flakes, light as could be, with no wind. It was peaceful, and serene, and wonderful to ski in. Many of the trails we were on hadn't been skied on since the snow fell. Getting to be the first to swoosh through all that new snow was indescribable. And then, on the groomed trails, it’s always a treat to be the first to mess up those perfect ribs of corduroy.
Copper Mountain was very quiet yesterday, so each time we skied down the hill, we were able to get back on the lift immediately. I lost track of the number of runs we made even before lunchtime.
Beck tired out early, so he and I skied the smaller hills while Frank and Doug went to the top of the mountain. By the end of the day, we all had rosy cheeks, sore muscles and joy in our hearts. We took lots of photos too, which we don't always remember to do.
Doug is pretty good at making plans, so my guess is, he has more in store, we’ll see, but if that is all we do this weekend, I’ll be happy. The memories are perfect.
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Half a Day
It’s almost time for Christmas vacation, or winter break, or whatever it is schools call it now. I’ll call it Christmas vacation forever. Frank has two finals today, and then he’s done. So by 12:15, he’ll be home and ready to rest.
His swim coach may not like it much, but I’m going to go easy on him as far as practice goes over the break. We’ll be out with friends tonight and gone tomorrow. Will I get up at 6:00am Saturday morning to get him there? I haven’t decided yet. I suppose it depends how badly he wants to go. I can always go back to sleep.
Beckett isn’t finished until 4:00 today, but he already has plans for vacation. Tonight he wants to have a mom and Beck sleepover. He wants to watch Christmas movies and drink hot chocolate. There are movies he wants us to go and see as a family. And he is so excited about skiing he’s counting the minutes.
I love vacations with the boys. I love family time, and doing what we want when we want. It will involve lots of family visits to the Y, and lots of downtime. Which we all need.
His swim coach may not like it much, but I’m going to go easy on him as far as practice goes over the break. We’ll be out with friends tonight and gone tomorrow. Will I get up at 6:00am Saturday morning to get him there? I haven’t decided yet. I suppose it depends how badly he wants to go. I can always go back to sleep.
Beckett isn’t finished until 4:00 today, but he already has plans for vacation. Tonight he wants to have a mom and Beck sleepover. He wants to watch Christmas movies and drink hot chocolate. There are movies he wants us to go and see as a family. And he is so excited about skiing he’s counting the minutes.
I love vacations with the boys. I love family time, and doing what we want when we want. It will involve lots of family visits to the Y, and lots of downtime. Which we all need.
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Four-Hundred Little Things
This is my four-hundredth post. I started this blog in 2005, wrote a lot, and then in 2010, stopped writing for three years. Crazy to think I didn’t write for three years, but in hindsight, it was time I wanted to be quiet. I wrote other things instead.
As opposed to the last few days, today I am blissful in my quiet day. I went for a ride, cleaned the kitchen, and will soon wrap gifts. The house is filled with sounds and sights of the holiday, and as my Christmas letter said, all is right with our world.
I’ve decided to finish writing the East Aurora series next. The books are complicated. There are crimes and fugitives, death and sadness. There is also love and joy, and the most wonderful memories a girl can have. The books are not easy to write, there is too much of my childhood in them, sans crimes and fugitives, but the locations . . . East Aurora and Canada Lake . . . are wonderful to visit in my memory, but also bring me to tears because I miss it so much.
I went back to Canada Lake for my fortieth birthday. It was too different. The stuff my memories were made of was no longer there, mainly our camp, my grandparents, and the friends I made each summer out on the lake. I’m not sure I want to go back. If I did, it would have to be with lots and lots of people . . . Susan (Slade) Spanitz keeps saying we should have a Slade family reunion at the lake. That would work. We would create new memories.
And East Aurora . . . the last time I went back I visited cemeteries, and spent a lot of time crying over the people who I longed to see, but were no longer alive. That was tough.
On the other hand, I love these books, and the characters in them. Some are loosely based on real people, or started out that way. And then as the story evolved, so did those characters. None look like the inspiration anymore, but they still remind me of people I love enough to base a character on them.
I may have time to work on them this afternoon, but if not, I will fill my time over the course of the next few weeks writing them. I’m looking forward to it more than I can say.
Here’s to four-hundred posts, contentment and peace . . . a great way to celebrate the end of my fiftieth year.
As opposed to the last few days, today I am blissful in my quiet day. I went for a ride, cleaned the kitchen, and will soon wrap gifts. The house is filled with sounds and sights of the holiday, and as my Christmas letter said, all is right with our world.
I’ve decided to finish writing the East Aurora series next. The books are complicated. There are crimes and fugitives, death and sadness. There is also love and joy, and the most wonderful memories a girl can have. The books are not easy to write, there is too much of my childhood in them, sans crimes and fugitives, but the locations . . . East Aurora and Canada Lake . . . are wonderful to visit in my memory, but also bring me to tears because I miss it so much.
I went back to Canada Lake for my fortieth birthday. It was too different. The stuff my memories were made of was no longer there, mainly our camp, my grandparents, and the friends I made each summer out on the lake. I’m not sure I want to go back. If I did, it would have to be with lots and lots of people . . . Susan (Slade) Spanitz keeps saying we should have a Slade family reunion at the lake. That would work. We would create new memories.
And East Aurora . . . the last time I went back I visited cemeteries, and spent a lot of time crying over the people who I longed to see, but were no longer alive. That was tough.
On the other hand, I love these books, and the characters in them. Some are loosely based on real people, or started out that way. And then as the story evolved, so did those characters. None look like the inspiration anymore, but they still remind me of people I love enough to base a character on them.
I may have time to work on them this afternoon, but if not, I will fill my time over the course of the next few weeks writing them. I’m looking forward to it more than I can say.
Here’s to four-hundred posts, contentment and peace . . . a great way to celebrate the end of my fiftieth year.
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Why Don't I Remember?
This is a follow-up post to my post about letting go of people who make my life harder than it should be. It is essential to remember . . . on the days of disappointment, or realization that it’s time to let go . . . that there are so many other people who make my life easier, better, great.
I’ve been in a bit of a funk. Astonishing how easy it is to get out of one when I take a look around at all that is good in my life. I made a list today of things I wanted to do between now and January 8, when the kids go back to school. It is a long list. Some of it is mundane, but some of it is really fun. I also had lunch with a friend, my best female friend . . . and man, does she ever have a way of putting things in perspective.
I’ve never known anyone who does as much for others as she does. She blows my mind, she makes me proud, and she makes me humble. My little issues pale to nothingness when she tells me about things she’s working on or just doing. She’s also really great about asking what’s going on with me, so I don’t leave our lunches or get-togethers feeling like a total loser over what I’m doing with my life. She reminds me of things I do that are important, things that when we do them ourselves don’t seem so, but through the eyes of others, we are reminded they are.
I caught up with another friend a few minutes ago, and after our chat, I felt exhilerated, rarin’ to go, ready to take on life’s next (or continuing) challenges.
Life is great.
My mantra.
I will repeat it over and over and over again.
Until I remember without needing to say it, or write it.
I’ve been in a bit of a funk. Astonishing how easy it is to get out of one when I take a look around at all that is good in my life. I made a list today of things I wanted to do between now and January 8, when the kids go back to school. It is a long list. Some of it is mundane, but some of it is really fun. I also had lunch with a friend, my best female friend . . . and man, does she ever have a way of putting things in perspective.
I’ve never known anyone who does as much for others as she does. She blows my mind, she makes me proud, and she makes me humble. My little issues pale to nothingness when she tells me about things she’s working on or just doing. She’s also really great about asking what’s going on with me, so I don’t leave our lunches or get-togethers feeling like a total loser over what I’m doing with my life. She reminds me of things I do that are important, things that when we do them ourselves don’t seem so, but through the eyes of others, we are reminded they are.
I caught up with another friend a few minutes ago, and after our chat, I felt exhilerated, rarin’ to go, ready to take on life’s next (or continuing) challenges.
Life is great.
My mantra.
I will repeat it over and over and over again.
Until I remember without needing to say it, or write it.
Christmas Limbo
I’ve always believed that if you finish your Christmas shopping too early, you’ll only buy more. I used to be finished by Thanksgiving. And I used to buy for far more people than I do now. And I remember I would just keep going, up until the last minute.
Yesterday was my last minute. I’m determined to keep it so. Although it has just occurred to me that there is another person I forgot. Oh well. Maybe I'll take care of that today and really be finished.
Last night I was restless. I didn’t feel like writing, or even reading. Television was out too, not that I watch very much of it anyway. I was tired, but not tired enough to go to sleep. I suppose there were several things I could have done, but I didn’t feel like doing any of them. So I vegged. Unhappily.
The boys have three more days of school before the Christmas break. We’re skiing Friday. Monday is my birthday, then Tuesday is Christmas Eve, etc. Between now and Friday, I’m afraid I’m going to stay in this state of limbo. We have plans with friends Thursday night, so I suppose my limbo-ness will have a reprieve between now and then.
The boys are off school until January 7, and we have nothing planned. Last year we were in California for several days. This year . . . who knows? Maybe Doug will plan something for us to do at least part of the time.
Limbo. Christmas limbo. Holiday break limbo. End of the year limbo. It’s where I’m at and I don’t want to be. I need a plan. That will be my goal for today. Develop a get-out-of-limbo plan. There. I feel better already.
Yesterday was my last minute. I’m determined to keep it so. Although it has just occurred to me that there is another person I forgot. Oh well. Maybe I'll take care of that today and really be finished.
Last night I was restless. I didn’t feel like writing, or even reading. Television was out too, not that I watch very much of it anyway. I was tired, but not tired enough to go to sleep. I suppose there were several things I could have done, but I didn’t feel like doing any of them. So I vegged. Unhappily.
The boys have three more days of school before the Christmas break. We’re skiing Friday. Monday is my birthday, then Tuesday is Christmas Eve, etc. Between now and Friday, I’m afraid I’m going to stay in this state of limbo. We have plans with friends Thursday night, so I suppose my limbo-ness will have a reprieve between now and then.
The boys are off school until January 7, and we have nothing planned. Last year we were in California for several days. This year . . . who knows? Maybe Doug will plan something for us to do at least part of the time.
Limbo. Christmas limbo. Holiday break limbo. End of the year limbo. It’s where I’m at and I don’t want to be. I need a plan. That will be my goal for today. Develop a get-out-of-limbo plan. There. I feel better already.
Monday, December 16, 2013
Where Is It?
By the time I was twenty-four, I had spent half my life in California, and the other half in New York. The stints in each were not contiguous, I was back and forth a lot. My grandfather, who I lived with, passed away that year and friends encouraged me to move back to Southern California. I was recruited by an ad agency to serve as creative director, and given their accounts included Budget Rent-a-Car and TaylorMade Golf, I jumped at the opportunity.
I moved in with a friend from back home who lived in San Clemente, and settled into the new job. My first Christmas back in California was depressing. While I was happy to be able to spend time with my mom, I missed the rest of my extended family in WNY. Plus, the weather was typical for that area in the winter. Cold, but not that cold, gloomy without the benefit of sunshine or snow on the ground to make it at least feel like Christmas.
I was lost, displaced. I was having trouble figuring out my life and what I saw for my future. I struggled in that limbo for seven years. I wasn't marking the time then, but when I look back at it, that's how long it was.
Then I went to freelance for a place called Priscomm and met people who are friends for life . . . and my husband. It wasn't that I didn't have friends before that, it just was that life didn't seem to be moving forward, or backward . . . it just was.
I remember the first year Doug and I were together and went to the tree lot in San Clemente and got a tree for my place in Dana Point. And the two of us decorating it together. I had a Christmas party that year . . . I remember feeling as though life was making sense again. He and I went to Santa Fe for Christmas, and while it wasn't home, it was different enough, and festive enough, and cold enough, to feel like Christmas. He went to church with me Christmas morning at a beautiful chapel right across the street from the inn we stayed in. I remember it feeling like Christmas, for the first time in a long time.
Eventually I moved up to Costa Mesa, with Doug, he proposed, we got married and I got pregnant. A new batch of friends came with the new baby, women from a moms' club I joined. Again, I met friends who will remain so for life.
In the seven years before I met Doug, I struggled each year with finding my Christmas spirit. I spent the holidays with my mom, and her neighbors, who weren't my family, or even people I remember that much about. It never felt like Christmas to me. We didn't go to church, we didn't celebrate the traditions our family had all of my life. It just was.
Twenty-plus years later, we live in Colorado. More friends of life-long variety have come into our lives, and the feeling of Christmas surrounds us. But, I'm struggling and I don't know why. Maybe I do this every year, and I just don't remember I do it. Christmas is nine days away and I feel as though it could be nine months away. I cannot believe we'll start celebrating my birthday, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day next week.
I miss my grandparents. I miss home. I miss the traditions of my childhood . . . on the other hand, maybe I'm just tired. I've been burning the candle at both ends this week, and desperately need some down time. Doug, bless his heart, is pushing me in that direction, because he knows it's what I need. We're skiing Friday at Copper Mountain and I'm sure by the time we hit the slopes, I'll have moved out of my pre-holiday funk.
I moved in with a friend from back home who lived in San Clemente, and settled into the new job. My first Christmas back in California was depressing. While I was happy to be able to spend time with my mom, I missed the rest of my extended family in WNY. Plus, the weather was typical for that area in the winter. Cold, but not that cold, gloomy without the benefit of sunshine or snow on the ground to make it at least feel like Christmas.
I was lost, displaced. I was having trouble figuring out my life and what I saw for my future. I struggled in that limbo for seven years. I wasn't marking the time then, but when I look back at it, that's how long it was.
Then I went to freelance for a place called Priscomm and met people who are friends for life . . . and my husband. It wasn't that I didn't have friends before that, it just was that life didn't seem to be moving forward, or backward . . . it just was.
I remember the first year Doug and I were together and went to the tree lot in San Clemente and got a tree for my place in Dana Point. And the two of us decorating it together. I had a Christmas party that year . . . I remember feeling as though life was making sense again. He and I went to Santa Fe for Christmas, and while it wasn't home, it was different enough, and festive enough, and cold enough, to feel like Christmas. He went to church with me Christmas morning at a beautiful chapel right across the street from the inn we stayed in. I remember it feeling like Christmas, for the first time in a long time.
Eventually I moved up to Costa Mesa, with Doug, he proposed, we got married and I got pregnant. A new batch of friends came with the new baby, women from a moms' club I joined. Again, I met friends who will remain so for life.
In the seven years before I met Doug, I struggled each year with finding my Christmas spirit. I spent the holidays with my mom, and her neighbors, who weren't my family, or even people I remember that much about. It never felt like Christmas to me. We didn't go to church, we didn't celebrate the traditions our family had all of my life. It just was.
Twenty-plus years later, we live in Colorado. More friends of life-long variety have come into our lives, and the feeling of Christmas surrounds us. But, I'm struggling and I don't know why. Maybe I do this every year, and I just don't remember I do it. Christmas is nine days away and I feel as though it could be nine months away. I cannot believe we'll start celebrating my birthday, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day next week.
I miss my grandparents. I miss home. I miss the traditions of my childhood . . . on the other hand, maybe I'm just tired. I've been burning the candle at both ends this week, and desperately need some down time. Doug, bless his heart, is pushing me in that direction, because he knows it's what I need. We're skiing Friday at Copper Mountain and I'm sure by the time we hit the slopes, I'll have moved out of my pre-holiday funk.
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Eight ’til I Add One
Eight days until I add another year on my officially proclaimed age. I’ve never been secretive about it, I’m happy to be here, happy to celebrate another year that I’ve walked the face of the earth.
This has been a big year in terms of accomplishment, as well as letting go of preconceived notions, and more importantly, letting go of people who make my life harder than it should be.
It isn’t easy to let go of people. I especially don’t like it when I’m on the highway and suddenly realize my thoughts have drifted back to one of them. The hurt resurfaces, the questions about what I might have been able to do differently come back to haunt me. I typically shake my head and take in a deep breath when it happens. If Frank is in the car with me he'll say, "What?" I don't answer. It isn’t something I want to talk about. Shaking my head is about getting those thoughts out of it, not rehashing it. Usually the worst part of it is realizing that I knew all along, I just hadn’t listened to my instincts screaming at me to stay far, far away. And then I feel foolish, for believing in the first place.
I wish I had learned these lessons when I was younger. I would’ve put more time and energy into people who showed me time and time again that I mattered as much to them as they did to me. I would’ve spent much less time and energy on strangers, who would never become friends, no matter how much I tried to make them so.
As I go into 2014, I am making myself a promise to make sure my energy remains focused in the direction it should be. I will make a conscious effort to stay away from people who are shiny and new, until I know that once their shine wears off on the surface, it brightens on the inside.
This has been a big year in terms of accomplishment, as well as letting go of preconceived notions, and more importantly, letting go of people who make my life harder than it should be.
It isn’t easy to let go of people. I especially don’t like it when I’m on the highway and suddenly realize my thoughts have drifted back to one of them. The hurt resurfaces, the questions about what I might have been able to do differently come back to haunt me. I typically shake my head and take in a deep breath when it happens. If Frank is in the car with me he'll say, "What?" I don't answer. It isn’t something I want to talk about. Shaking my head is about getting those thoughts out of it, not rehashing it. Usually the worst part of it is realizing that I knew all along, I just hadn’t listened to my instincts screaming at me to stay far, far away. And then I feel foolish, for believing in the first place.
I wish I had learned these lessons when I was younger. I would’ve put more time and energy into people who showed me time and time again that I mattered as much to them as they did to me. I would’ve spent much less time and energy on strangers, who would never become friends, no matter how much I tried to make them so.
As I go into 2014, I am making myself a promise to make sure my energy remains focused in the direction it should be. I will make a conscious effort to stay away from people who are shiny and new, until I know that once their shine wears off on the surface, it brightens on the inside.
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Please, I Still Want to Like You
There are times l want to beg and plead with someone to do what they say they’re going to do, because I have this feeling they don’t plan to. And if they don’t, I’ll be disappointed, because I want them to be better than that.
I’m in the midst of that right now, on a couple of fronts. And I want, so badly, to send them an email, or a message, or call them and say, "Please, oh please, do what you said you’d do, because I still want to like you, still want to have respect for you, still want to believe you are who I think you are. Please don’t show me otherwise."
Please, oh please.
I’m in the midst of that right now, on a couple of fronts. And I want, so badly, to send them an email, or a message, or call them and say, "Please, oh please, do what you said you’d do, because I still want to like you, still want to have respect for you, still want to believe you are who I think you are. Please don’t show me otherwise."
Please, oh please.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Oh. That's What It Was.
Reading yesterday’s post makes me laugh. Little did I know, when I was complaining about my inability to get anything done, what I was headed for. Last night I had a full hard drive crash. Dead. Done. Nothing would help it. I tried verifying, repairing, erasing, restoring . . . and nothing. I tried to download a new system.
A trip to the Apple store this morning, followed by a trip to a third-party authorized repair center, a new hard drive, and four hours (or more) of restoring from the last Time Machine backup (which happened at 3:58 yesterday afternoon), I am back up and running. I lost very little. I worked on a Christmas card and letter in between last backup and crash, but both of those are easy to reproduce.
Here I am, back at it. Making sure my archives are properly organized, my backups are running (both of my external drives) . . . I’m a file-safety girl.
My computer seems to be running very efficiently with my new SSD, which I hope means I can get a few more years out of this iMac.
If you don’t make use of any kind of backup system, I strongly suggest you consider doing so. If you’re on a Mac, they make it really easy for you, all you need is an external hard drive and time machine will do the rest. If I had lost everything, I would’ve been devastated. The circumstances by which I would lose everything would be very remote, given how many external hard drives I archive to, but still. I only lost a couple of hours. Not a big deal at all.
A trip to the Apple store this morning, followed by a trip to a third-party authorized repair center, a new hard drive, and four hours (or more) of restoring from the last Time Machine backup (which happened at 3:58 yesterday afternoon), I am back up and running. I lost very little. I worked on a Christmas card and letter in between last backup and crash, but both of those are easy to reproduce.
Here I am, back at it. Making sure my archives are properly organized, my backups are running (both of my external drives) . . . I’m a file-safety girl.
My computer seems to be running very efficiently with my new SSD, which I hope means I can get a few more years out of this iMac.
If you don’t make use of any kind of backup system, I strongly suggest you consider doing so. If you’re on a Mac, they make it really easy for you, all you need is an external hard drive and time machine will do the rest. If I had lost everything, I would’ve been devastated. The circumstances by which I would lose everything would be very remote, given how many external hard drives I archive to, but still. I only lost a couple of hours. Not a big deal at all.
Monday, December 09, 2013
Taking Letting Go a Little Too Far
I’ve been trying to get our Christmas cards finished for the last two hours. I’ve had every computer program I’ve tried to use quit, and even had to shut the computer down. I’m a Mac girl, this doesn’t happen often.
I figure the universe is trying to tell me something. What I’ve decided it’s telling me is to quit for the night, go and read, and attack the Christmas cards tomorrow, or maybe the day after. The days of me having them done the day after Thanksgiving are long gone.
I’ve started to wonder if maybe I’m taking my letting go a little too far. In a pseudo-Freudian slip, I initially wrote above that I should attack the Christmas cards next year. I went back and read it and laughed out loud.
There are still people who tell me I get more done in a morning than they get done in a week. You should’ve known me before. Or maybe not.
I haven’t really started Christmas shopping yet. Mainly because Doug does most of it. He even shops for himself, and hands me the bag. Like the Christmas cards, I suppose I can attack shopping tomorrow as well, or maybe the day after.
I’m in one of those analysis-paralysis modes. I have much to do, but can’t get any of it done because I’m still trying to decide which I should do first. So what am I doing? Writing. Of course. Because at the end of the day, or the beginning, or even the middle, that’s what I want to be doing more than anything. So maybe I’ll get the Christmas letter done tonight. All I have to do is write it.
I figure the universe is trying to tell me something. What I’ve decided it’s telling me is to quit for the night, go and read, and attack the Christmas cards tomorrow, or maybe the day after. The days of me having them done the day after Thanksgiving are long gone.
I’ve started to wonder if maybe I’m taking my letting go a little too far. In a pseudo-Freudian slip, I initially wrote above that I should attack the Christmas cards next year. I went back and read it and laughed out loud.
There are still people who tell me I get more done in a morning than they get done in a week. You should’ve known me before. Or maybe not.
I haven’t really started Christmas shopping yet. Mainly because Doug does most of it. He even shops for himself, and hands me the bag. Like the Christmas cards, I suppose I can attack shopping tomorrow as well, or maybe the day after.
I’m in one of those analysis-paralysis modes. I have much to do, but can’t get any of it done because I’m still trying to decide which I should do first. So what am I doing? Writing. Of course. Because at the end of the day, or the beginning, or even the middle, that’s what I want to be doing more than anything. So maybe I’ll get the Christmas letter done tonight. All I have to do is write it.
Saturday, December 07, 2013
Heather's Hill and Plentiful Love
I’ve been a little sad lately, it’s probably evident from my posts. There isn’t a good reason for it, it just is.
I get like this around the holidays, too many memories of family who are no longer with me. Wishing I could go back and wake up in my Oma and Opa’s house, sneak downstairs to find my grandfather hiding around the corner to surprise me and wish me a merry Christmas. He’d gather me in his arms, sit down in his big chair with me on his lap as we gazed at the Christmas tree. He’d tell stories about the sleigh rides Grandpa Slade would take the family on, and how Grandma Slade and his sisters would be bundled up in their furs as my great-grandfather’s horses led them through the fields of Elma.
My grandmother would be in the kitchen getting the potato pancakes ready, and we would turn on the console record player and play Christmas carols. I remember sitting at the dining room table looking out over what my Oma called Heather's hill, knowing that later that morning, friends from down Ostrander Road would gather on that hill to show off their new sleds and saucers. It seemed we all got new ones for Christmas. Sledding on the hill are among my best childhood memories.
Almost always, during our Christmas breakfast, a bright red cardinal would land on the bird feeder that was just outside the dining room window. When I close my eyes, I can see its beauty against the white, snowy background.
Later in the day we’d gather at one of the aunt’s houses and most of the family would be there. The women would be in their tartan plaids, the men in dress shirts and ties. The food would be plentiful, but not as plentiful as the love.
I am surrounded and filled with plentiful love in my life now too, from my little family—Doug, Frank and Beckett, and our extended family, and friends. Today and tonight will be a celebration of all of the love we have in our lives. Our house will be filled with friends, who mean the world to us. There will be laughter and conversation, good friends we haven’t seen since last year, and sometimes longer. I miss my grandparents, and my mom, and all my aunts and uncles who are no longer with us, except in spirit. Rather than being sad, I want to celebrate those memories today and through the year.
I get like this around the holidays, too many memories of family who are no longer with me. Wishing I could go back and wake up in my Oma and Opa’s house, sneak downstairs to find my grandfather hiding around the corner to surprise me and wish me a merry Christmas. He’d gather me in his arms, sit down in his big chair with me on his lap as we gazed at the Christmas tree. He’d tell stories about the sleigh rides Grandpa Slade would take the family on, and how Grandma Slade and his sisters would be bundled up in their furs as my great-grandfather’s horses led them through the fields of Elma.
My grandmother would be in the kitchen getting the potato pancakes ready, and we would turn on the console record player and play Christmas carols. I remember sitting at the dining room table looking out over what my Oma called Heather's hill, knowing that later that morning, friends from down Ostrander Road would gather on that hill to show off their new sleds and saucers. It seemed we all got new ones for Christmas. Sledding on the hill are among my best childhood memories.
Almost always, during our Christmas breakfast, a bright red cardinal would land on the bird feeder that was just outside the dining room window. When I close my eyes, I can see its beauty against the white, snowy background.
Later in the day we’d gather at one of the aunt’s houses and most of the family would be there. The women would be in their tartan plaids, the men in dress shirts and ties. The food would be plentiful, but not as plentiful as the love.
I am surrounded and filled with plentiful love in my life now too, from my little family—Doug, Frank and Beckett, and our extended family, and friends. Today and tonight will be a celebration of all of the love we have in our lives. Our house will be filled with friends, who mean the world to us. There will be laughter and conversation, good friends we haven’t seen since last year, and sometimes longer. I miss my grandparents, and my mom, and all my aunts and uncles who are no longer with us, except in spirit. Rather than being sad, I want to celebrate those memories today and through the year.
Friday, December 06, 2013
I Haven’t Felt Like Writing
That's the truth. I just haven’t felt like it. There’s a reason, that I don’t want to write about, only because it’ll make me think about it, and I don’t want to think about it. But, rest assured it isn’t that big of a deal, and I’ll get over it.
I just spent a couple of hours with someone who finished reading And Then You Dance last night, knowing she was going to see me today. She told me how much she loved it, said (actually) that she loved everything about it. Which is very high praise. We went on to talk about the characters in the book, and she asked me lots of questions about what was happening in book three.
And then, she asked me about the characters from book one and book two, about what was happening with them. That’s a little tricky. They aren’t main characters in book three, so I haven’t thought that much about what might happen with them. It made me realize, though, that readers care. Even if it’s just a little bit weaved into the story, a paragragh or two . . . I can do that.
The conversation made me want to write. Not sure if it’s quite enough to actually make me sit down and do it, but it might be. Whenever I have these kinds of conversations it reminds me how much I love these characters, this series, and how much my readers do too. What could be better inspiration?
I just spent a couple of hours with someone who finished reading And Then You Dance last night, knowing she was going to see me today. She told me how much she loved it, said (actually) that she loved everything about it. Which is very high praise. We went on to talk about the characters in the book, and she asked me lots of questions about what was happening in book three.
And then, she asked me about the characters from book one and book two, about what was happening with them. That’s a little tricky. They aren’t main characters in book three, so I haven’t thought that much about what might happen with them. It made me realize, though, that readers care. Even if it’s just a little bit weaved into the story, a paragragh or two . . . I can do that.
The conversation made me want to write. Not sure if it’s quite enough to actually make me sit down and do it, but it might be. Whenever I have these kinds of conversations it reminds me how much I love these characters, this series, and how much my readers do too. What could be better inspiration?
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