Coming Up for Air

I feel like the last month has gone by in a split second. And I've spent the last two weeks doing nothing.

I'm feeling two things, the first, I need a vacation. Ha! Really though, I do, or at least I feel like I do. An honest to goodness go-away-somewhere vacation. I've been dreaming about Canada Lake a lot. Doug says it's just because there is an article in one of my magazines about the Adirondacks so it's on my mind. Unfortunately, a vacation this year is out of the question due to Doug's new job. I think I mentioned something to CJ about wanting to go to Canada Lake, and somehow the conversation made it's way to if CJ were a girl, I'd probably go, and take "her" and the boys. However, taking "him" and the boys would stretch the limits of propriety more than I would be comfortable with.

I am hoping we can make it back there next summer. I feel a need to go back, and want to take the boys there at least every three years or so. I recognize that Doug doesn't really like to go back to the same place more than once, but he needs to recognize, too, that I do, especially there. It would be fun to fly into New York City and spend a couple of nights and then drive up to the Adirondacks, which then wouldn't be that much of a drive.

More than anything I'm yearning.

My grandmother's birthday was July 4th, and every year as the fourth gets closer, I think more and more about her. It was always such a great time of the year. Many of the cousins who had moved away came "home" over the fourth, and for many years we had a family reunion at O'Briens Sleepy Hollow. There were always fireworks at Elma Meadows and we would drive to the end of Ostrander Road, sit at the curve on top of our cars, and watch. Right after the fourth, we would leave for the Adirondacks.

When the boys get older, I want them to be able to spend some of their summers there, or at least a week or two. I'd like it to become a family tradition. If I ever won the lottery, I'd buy a camp there. Miranda, our niece, told me she'd continue to go back there with me year after year. That may change now that she's more of a teenager and establishing a life of her own. But I can see myself sitting on the dock by the lake at every stage of my life. And I've told Doug that when I die, I'd like my ashes scattered off Nick Stoner Island. There isn't a place I'd rather be, ever (even Cambria). That's not entirely true, I'd rather not be there in the winter.

So the second thing I'm feeling is that I'm ready to get back to work. If it can't be a vacation, it might as well be work. I took a lot of time off to spend with Frank in his last two weeks of school, and I feel like that was the right thing to do. I want to spend time with him over the summer, I just have to figure out the best balance. It would be so nice to not think about work until September, but that is unrealistic, and Doug says I'd be bored in a week. He's probably right. Although it might take more than a week.

Frank turns six in six days. He's so grown up, and is so responsible, I've finally agreed to allow a reptile into my home. We've compromised on a lizard. He'd prefer a snake, but I'm uncomfortable seeing snakes on television, there simply isn't any way I could have one in the house. He's proven he's capable of understanding day to day chores, although he is still a real, live kid and needs reminding. What he'd really, really like is for us to live in a place with a lot of land, so he can have a dog, and a multitude of other pets. The other day he was talking about having a farm and Doug and I told him what a lot of work a farm would be. He said something about hiring people to do the work. I guess I've got my parenting work cut out for me.