A Little Accident

I had a little accident last week. A fall actually. I decided it was time to put all of the camping gear away, most of it was already, but there were a few things left to go in the loft in the garage. CJ was helping me, Frank was playing in the garage. I climbed up the ladder and CJ was handing things to me to put away. We were close to finished when suddenly the ladder seemed to shift, and I fell to the floor of the garage.

It is painful to write about, but I'm hoping that by writing about it, it will start to become a more distant memory rather than one I relive hourly.

The fall itself seemed to go in slow motion for me, the way those things seem to. As I was falling all I could think was that I was falling too far to live through it. Then when my body hit, I was certain my back or neck would be broken. Then my head hit the floor. Amazingly, I didn't lose consciousness. I could move my legs and arms, but I couldn't breath and the pain in my back, behind my lungs was excrutiating. CJ called 911 and I could hear the sirens it seemed only a minute later. I think CJ was trying to calm Frank, although I don't remember much from this time, only the pain and that I couldn't catch my breath.

The paramedics put me on a backboard and put a neck brace on, then took me to Hoag Hospital. The ride was again excrutiating, the pain almost unbearable. They tried to start an IV, but I don't have and never had any decent veins. I did appreciate their effort to give me some pain medication.

Minutes later I was at Hoag and the doctor was checking me over. All the signs were positive, legs and arms still moved and had feeling, I knew where I was, etc. They again tried to start an IV, and failing to do so gave me morphine via a shot in the arm. Doug arrived then, which is when I fell apart. Now that my rock was with me, I could admit how frightened I was, no more need to be strong, I could let my guard down and depend on him to help me through it.

They took me to x-ray and somehow were able to take some. They moved me minimally, which I appreciated greatly. Back to the ER to wait for the results.

The doctor came and told me that I had broken some ribs, but everything else seemed okay. He warned me that broken ribs were very painful, and there wasn't much to do other than rest and let them heal. Evidently it isn't good for the lungs to tape the ribs, so basically they just heal on their own, in four to six weeks.

I think they gave me another shot for the pain, and told me I could go home. Again, I don't remember much. It seemed like when we pulled in the yard, CJ had mowed the lawn. I think he had to do something physical in order to burn off some of the stress of what had happened. Janel was there, she had left work to come down and help the minute CJ called her to tell her what happened. She stayed to help me get settled and then went back to work.

I remember getting settled on the couch, I don't remember much else other than sleeping on and off.

I know they kept Beckett away from me. He is used to climbing all over me, which wouldn't have been a good thing. Frank came and told me how scared he had been. He saw me fall. It must've been awful for him. He told me he had to run into the house, and he told me he had cried. I told him both of those things were the right things to do and that he was very brave.

It's been a few days since it happened. Each day I feel better than the day before. Each day I try to do more and more on my own. Doug, CJ and Janel have all been wonderful. Friends have come by to bring dinners (and cookies, lots and lots of cookies), and have sent flowers and called and emailed.

I tell everyone who calls the same thing: I have no complaints. I am thankful to be alive, and I am thankful that in a couple of weeks, I will heal and I will feel better and most importantly I will be able to walk and play with my kids, and see their beautiful smiles every day. At that's all that really matters. I'm still here. I thank God for that.

I doubt very much that I'll ever get on a ladder again in my lifetime, and I probably won't be very comfortable when anyone else is on one.

Doug told me a couple of days ago, when we were alone, that on that particular morning, he put on his wedding ring at the last minute before he went to work. He rarely wears his wedding ring, and not usually ever to work. I don't recall a time he ever has worn it to work actually. His voice was quiet when he told me. Doug isn't one to be superstitious, or give much to coicidence, but this fact seemed to shake him. The only thing he said after that was that he'd never do it again.