Hurt is hard

Frank has the biggest brown eyes I’ve every seen, with the exception of his father’s. And when he gets sad and those big brown eyes fill up with tears, my heart breaks. It happens with Beckett too, but Beckett’s hurts right now are much more superficial than Frank’s are, because Beckett will likely not remember, and Frank will. Frank is very sensitive, which means he’ll remember more than Beck ever will anyway.

We’re going through something right now with an adult, a non-relative, who has disappointed Frank. It really isn’t that big of a disappointment, but it is something Frank just doesn’t understand. And not wanting to say anything negative about this person, I can’t explain in a way that would make it easier for me.

I want to protect him, explain that it doesn’t have anything to do with him, it is something to do with the other person. I feel a little bit like the person who says, “It isn’t personal, it’s business.” The person on the receiving end of that line never thinks it’s business, they always think it’s personal.

Which leads me to think about something that happened here recently. We read about a basketball coach at the local charter school who was brought up on 26 different charges relating to children. Evidently the culmination was when one of the basketball players had to have corrective surgery due to injuries sustained by the actions of this coach. So many things came to mind for me, beginning with how did this go on past the first occurrence ? And finally with—what would I do if something like this happened to Frank? I cannot even let myself imagine how I would feel or react.

I know there will be countless times Frank will face hurt in his life, and it is my job as a parent to help him learn how to work through that hurt and come out the other side a stronger person. But I can tell you that regardless of what hurt I’ve faced in my life, NOTHING compares to how much the core of me hurts when my child is hurt.