The Premise of Change

Life is forever changing, which is a difficult premise for those of us who don't do well with change. It isn't that I can't manage it, it's just that I'm generally happy to plod along doing many of the same things day after day. That part of my personality drives Doug a little crazy. He is the type of guy who doesn't like to do the same things twice. Vacations, for example. I'd be perfectly happy visiting the same place year after year. Not Doug. "We've already been there," he'll say to me. I love this about him, because it breaks me out of my comfort zone.

I don't lack for new experiences in my life, not necessarily all driven by Doug. I seek out plenty of new opportunities and have always been eager to learn and do new things on a professional level.

I am a big believer in one door opening when another closes. There have been many times in my life that the opportunity that came with the newly opened door was far better than what I left behind. 

It's the in-between part that gives me pause. The unknown of whether the door will actually open, and if it does, will I be invited to walk through it. And then if I am, will I be good at whatever it is? Will I like it? As you can see, my first concern is whether I'll be good at it or not; it always comes before whether I'll like it or not. 

I am a perfectionist. It is a curse. It has driven me to do good work, to be a good resource or employee, as I continuously strive to do what I do the very best way it can be done. The curse part is what it does to my anxiety level.

I'm in a transition phase now. What I've been doing will be changing. Another door is partially open . . . I'll likely know more in the next couple of weeks. In the meantime, workaholic that I am, many parts of my life will stay the same. I'll continue to do marketing for Sparrow's clients; I'll continue to write books. I hope my day-to-day schedule evens out, where I'm working more during the day and with my family more in the evening. The current schedule of having events and/or classes to teach several nights a week has been difficult on Doug and the boys.

As I wrap up this blog post, I realize it isn't the change I have difficulty with, it's the premise of it . . . all the unknown bits and pieces. If history proves anything, I am resilient and able to manage pretty much anything life throws at me. And whether I like it or not, change is inevitable.