Dinner with a Friend

I had dinner with a friend tonight, someone I haven't seen in too long. So many times over the last several months, I've thought of her, and reminded myself to send her an email, get back in touch. And then I'd forget. Serendipitously, we ran into each other a couple weeks ago at an event. Both of us lamented how long it had been since we saw each other, and promised to catch up. Tonight we did.

She is a great conversationalist, and someone whose opinion I value. She is smart, and funny, and interesting . . . and normal. Over the course of the two hours we were together, we both shared the things that have transpired in our lives since we last spoke. Not all of it was easy, or happy, or light. 

One of the things she shared with me was the loss of a friendship. It may or may not be temporary, but I felt her pain as she talked about it. Better put, I felt my own pain. How many of us have lost friends who we once cared so much about? Sometimes it is simply that we drift apart, and making the time to reconnect becomes harder to do. Other times, it's more abrupt. It's a falling out, or a disagreement, or an argument neither of you can overcome. Sometimes you know what happened, sometimes you have no idea. 

Regardless of the circumstance, regardless of whether you left angry, or disappointed, or resolved, the pain of the loss is like that of any other loss. 

As we journey through life, it isn't just friends we lose touch with, sometimes it's family. And by the time you realize how important that person is, they're gone, and there isn't any way to tell them how sorry you are that you never spoke again. 

I've had the good fortune to reconnect with so many people I care about, but lost touch with. Most of it I credit to Facebook. It has put me in touch with people I never thought I'd talk to again. I am so thankful to have those people back in my life. At the same time, I mourn those who are gone. My heart hurts when I think of them. Tears spill down my cheeks. I feel the loss profoundly. 

Each day we have people who move in and out of our lives. One of the things you see frequently on Facebook is to tell the people you care about that you do, before it's too late. It's good advice. You never know when may be the last time you talk to someone important to you. Tell them you care about them while you have the chance. It's advice I intend to follow more often myself.