I'm Not the Mom

Winding down my Sunday by pinteresting Christmas stuff on my holiday board, and found myself regretting traditions I didn't start with my kiddos when they were little. By the third or fourth guilt-induced self-incriminating regret, I found myself saying "I'm not the mom who . . . "

So what mom am I?

• I'm the mom who showed my boys that you can write a book, or a write a song, or achieve what sometimes feels unachievable.
• I'm the mom that pestered them to get something done ahead of time, like college applications, so they could avoid the stress of not having it done.
• I'm the mom that showed them it's okay to cry . . . because you miss someone, or at the national anthem, or a sad movie, or a cheesy commercial, or because you feel powerless or sad or angry, or telling a story, or telling them how much I love them.
• I'm the mom who called them out on their shit, and told them I love them because of and in spite of it.
• I'm the mom who showed them that experiences will mean more than things.
• I'm the mom who prodded them to write their papers, practice their speeches, do their homework, and showed them they could feel good about it when they were done, and then be able to have fun.
• I'm the mom who let go when I felt they had it figured out, and them let them learn from their mistakes.
• I'm the mom who refused to sign off on homework I really didn't think they'd done, so they know it isn't okay just to get the sign off.
• I'm the mom who insisted they honor their commitments.
• I'm the mom who showed them the importance of relationships, and being part of a community.
• I'm the mom who showed them that if you do what you say you're going to do, when you say you're going to do it, you'll be ten steps ahead of most.
• I'm the mom who showed them, by example, that they'll make mistakes, sometimes big, giant mistakes, and life will still go on.
• I'm the mom who showed them that we all need forgiveness sometimes, and that you won't lose a part of your soul if you say you're sorry.
• I'm the mom who bitched, and told it like it was, when I thought they needed to hear it, and sometimes when I just needed to say it.
• I'm the mom who proved that if you don't make scrapbooks, or remember all the traditions, or decide not to bother, it'll still be Christmas, and Easter, and every other holiday.
• I'm the mom who decided it's okay if they get mad at me.
• I'm the mom who insisted they learn to take a joke.
• I'm the mom who made two loaves of pumpkin bread this morning, one with cranberries for Frank, and the other without, for Beck, because they asked me to.

There are a lot of things other moms do that I don't. I do my best. I've made mistakes along the way, and I'll continue to make them. But at the end of the day, I hope they learned some things from me, and that they'll continue to learn and grow the rest of their lives.