What Was I Thinking?

I woke up at 5:30 this morning. Too early. I thought about my day and what I might be able to accomplish rather than rolling over and going back to sleep. My first thought was to get up and start editing. I have twenty-three chapters to spin through grammarly, then the reading starts, to catch the things that annoy me, like using the same word twice in one paragraph, or the characters saying one another’s names too often. Little things that will make my OCD tendencies flare up when I read the book later.

Then it dawned on me. Today is November 1, and rather than editing, I should be writing. Major conflict. Write then edit? Edit then write? Oh dear. Analysis paralysis sinks in. The muscles in my shoulders begin to tense as I berate myself for hanging out with Doug, drinking wine, and watching a very boring football game last night. Why wasn’t I editing instead? Why did I waste that time last night?

And the answer comes easily. Because I write all the time. If there is anyone in our family who pays the price of that, it’s Doug. He patiently waits until I venture out of my writing cocoon and talk to him. He makes little comments sometimes, but not often. Sometimes he’ll announce that he is going to work on an art project, or he disappears and I find him downstairs in the studio he created in one of our massive storage rooms, creating something cool, in that way he does. As though he is giving me permission to go and be creative as well.

So last night was not time wasted. I will edit this morning, and then write later. And it will be fine. NaNoWriMo is for me n’est pas? I should enjoy it, savor it, participate with gladness, revel in the camaraderie found in the group facebook posts. I can easily write 5,000 words a day, if I know the story. And while I don’t at this point, I know how it begins, I know at least one main character, I never plan further than that anyway.

So, with my cup filled, my noveling playlist set to soothe me through, I drink a coffee toast to writing, and to editing. 

Ready, set, go.